twenty twenty

The year 2020 was frequently discussed when I was growing up in Malaysia because the government, led by Dr. Mahathir Mohamad had a long-term plan that was called Wawasan 2020. We had to learn about it in school and 2020 became a year ingrained in our minds as a milestone in the future that would bring positive change to the country, and to our lives.

I don’t remember anything about Wawasan 2020 other than what it's called and that every time we studied about it when I was in school, I would think, “Wow, I’ll be so old by then. I’ll be forty-one.” It felt like I was reading something science fictional. It felt like a moment that was completely out of our grasp then.

Fast forward however many years later, we arrive in 2020 ushering in not only the new year, but a pandemic. When we went into lockdown for the first time in the UK this year, Dr. M was again prime minister of Malaysia and I turned forty-one, while I wondered where Malaysia was at with their Wawasan 2020 plans.

As a non-spectacle wearer, my vision has been 20/20 for most of my life. I believe that's no longer the case this year, but I haven’t felt the need to visit Specsavers (yes, yes, or Barnard Castle!) just yet. Now that there is news of Covid-19 vaccination and London is in a fourth(?) lockdown (Tier 4), I wonder how much longer it will be before I would consider going for an eye test.

Anyway, I digress.

What I wanted to share in this newsletter is the positives of 2020. This feels self-indulgent, but in a year that has brought negative news over and over… I think it is justified, and I hope you concur.

I’m not sure what my twelve year old self expected my forty-one year old self to be doing in this year, but I’m sure that I had no expectations or even dreams then that I would be a writer. And this year has been all about that.

January
It all began with me signing on with The Good Literary Agency. I am happy, content, and proud to be represented by Abi Fellows ♡ who is just a wonderful human through and through.

February
Confluence London took place at Academy London (Google London’s dedicated learning space in Victoria), which was great fun to be at. It was wonderful to listen to and engage with new and fresh thinking around storytelling, and I was honoured to present my thoughts on Gamification and Storytelling there.

I explored some of the rules of narrative game writing and how that reflected the gamification strategies that are used in marketing and promotions, and how it developed a problematic concept of ‘reward,’ ultimately victimising certain communities or situations. Though gamification is a widely applied strategy (think coffee stamp cards), it is important for us to be aware of how it manipulates human psychology, and most importantly, consider which community or situation it victimises. I didn’t provide any enlightening remarks, but I ended with this statement:

If we gamify life, which seems to be the trend, are we encouraging binary thinking, falling into accepting that there is only one way to win, and that is to kill, to spend money, to avoid addressing our root problems?

March->
London locked down…

August
I became a published game writer and narrative designer with the release of Road to Guangdong! There has been some wonderful reviews to date and below are a couple of my favourites:
- Review in Hey Poor Player
- ‘What Makes A Chinese Game?’ in Eurogamer

The game is available on PS4, XBox One, Nintendo Switch and PC (Steam).

WorldCon (World Science Fiction Convention) had to move online because of Covid-19, which was a blessing for me, as I wouldn’t have had been able to participate otherwise.
I was on three panels for CoNZealand:
- Getting Your Book Edited and Ready for Self Publishing
- Post the Three Body Problem: What is Happening in Mainland Chinese Science Fiction?
- Chinese Short Fiction (panel image above)
I met and connected with new and old friends and colleagues from around the world.

September
I’m particularly proud of September, a month with two first publications:
- My first academic article, published in SFRA on Chinese Science Fiction: A Genre of Adversity
- My first poem to be published with an online journal, Mother Tongue (in Lucy Writers Platform). Below is a recording of my reading of the poem, which I made for a symposium at Royal Holloway, University of London.

I had also presented a paper at the London Science Fiction Research Association’s Beyond Borders conference, which I have since written up for publication hopefully early next year.

October
Was a quiet month of writing and organising and negotiations (thanks to Abi ♡), with some wonderful outcomes, but nothing that I can speak about publicly yet. Stay tuned though… I‘ll be shouting about it when I can!

November
I was so proud to co-present a paper with Dr. Amy Matthewson, whom I’ve only met and socialised with over video calls. Amy and I were introduced during lockdown by a mutual friend of ours, and we’ve since been plotting all things Polymorphosis. November saw us present a joint paper on the film Monsoon (Hong Khaou, 2019) at the Shared Narratives conference (day 3 in this recording), which was received warmly. This has encouraged us to continue with our plans for Polymorphosis’s future.

If you’re interested in engaging with or contributing to constructive discussions on race, do head over to Amy’s website and find out more about the Engaging Race Project.

This autumn term was an odd one teaching-wise, as all classes were online (which I enjoyed) and I had only one student enrolled. Due to Covid-19, our university deferred the September 2020 intake of students to January 2021 for my course. Because we had one student who was due to complete his Masters programme, I was requested to continue teaching. And since it was such a small class, I could open up my classes to alumni and prospective students to attend. That actually made it more fun!

As my student had to deliver a presentation as part of his assignment, I rallied help from our alumni (Thank you! Especially to Vincent Knight!) and organised a one-off Creative Writing Symposium, which supported my student’s presentation and many others from the publishing industry, academia, and writers. The symposium was a wonderfully engaging event that inspired everyone—attendees and presenters alike—to write more and engage with writing more deeply.

Which brings us to… now, December.

This is a month of writing and planning for me. I am super excited about a writing project that I’m working on but can’t say more about. It’s hard to keep mum, but know that I’m furiously working on this and will announce it as soon as I can!

In the midst of the pandemic, we find that innovation is rife. December saw another first for me, doing an online chat with an old friend on Instagram. Ari Abraham was one of the first people who supported my first years as a writer. He recently launched a poetry collection, Grief Teep on Instagram and has created a series of events around each piece. It was wonderful to talk to Ari about writing, identity, language, and the idea of home around the reading of his poem, ‘Loathe Bundle.’

As science fiction series editor for Brain Mill Press, I’ll be releasing the first short fiction anthology, Ab Terra 2020 very soon. This will be a wonderful Christmas present for all of us who’ve worked hard on it!

Which brings me to credit another wonderful collaborator whose presence this year has made 2020 a tremendous year for me, Dawn Ostlund. Dawn has been quietly editing all my newsletters behind the scenes, so you have her to thank for a smooth read. But that’s not why I’m embarrassing her here. Dawn will be joining me as co-editor on Ab Terra and we’ve kicked off Ab Terra Flash Fiction Magazine, which will see its first issue in January. We are also brewing really exciting plans for next year, which you’ll hear about, well, next year.

But hey, that’s not too long now!

And in the final round-up, just to bring things down to reality, 2020 has also seen lots of rejections, difficult periods at home juggling childcare and cabin fever, physical injuries, and the loss of friends. Keeping sane and surviving was the priority of the year, and without the full support of my husband, Ken and the main drive of my work, my daughter, none of the above would’ve been possible. My way of coping is to stay busy and productive, and it’s definitely not a recommended method (teetering at the edge of a burnout is my sweet spot, but I’m thinking probably not for most!), nor the only method around. I need to acknowledge that I am lucky and privileged to be able to comfortably and safely bury myself in my work while so many have struggled during this year to protect their health, their income, and their families.

If 2020 has taught me anything, it is to be honest and open with myself. And with that first step, I am opening up to the world, slowly, and embracing more around me with compassion and positivity.

Let’s make 2021 an even more memorable one… and for the right reasons.

Happy holidays and happy new year.