Happy Prime Day

It’s been a crazy September and October (so far) for me, work-wise, so this won’t be a long message. I was tickled to find out that today is Prime Day on Amazon, so thought I’d share this short story of mine that is just for you Super Prime members.

Hope you’re keeping safe and having a productive start to the last quarter of the year. x

From the future

Ffia was dreaming when the doorbell rang, jolting her out of a magical massage from Keanu Reeves. Not the current Keanu Reeves… the Matrix Keanu Reeves with the long black coat and sunglasses and all. She took a quick peek at the time and cursed under her breath because it was nearly noon.

She opened her apartment door to find a large Amazon box sat on the doormat. As she carried it in, she shouted out, ‘Alexa, what was my last Amazon order?’ She didn’t remember buying anything in the last week. ‘Your last order included toothpaste and was delivered on Wednesday.’ She wondered if Kai Ven was using her account again.

Kai Ven! She needed to get ready soon to make it for tea with his parents. After forgetting a dinner and missing the last brunch with them as she was ill—it was the worst hangover of her life—she couldn’t afford to fuck this one up.

She fumbled around her kitchen drawers and found a small blade to open up the box. Once she got rid of all the packaging, she stared at the odd contents; toilet paper—her favourite kind; a bottle of Hendrick’s gin; and a beautiful terrarium the size of a football. Not knowing what to do with the items, she grabbed her phone and went to the toilet to get ready.

Ffia scrolled through the Amazon app while sitting on the toilet to see if there was any information on the package when she received a new notification. NEW ORDER FROM FUTURE. What the fuck does that mean?

Clicking on it, she read that two weeks from today will be the first day of orders taken from the future for deliveries in the past. There was a limit of two weeks between order and delivery, so this order would’ve been made by her two-week future self. It was only for Super Prime members, naturally.

She put her phone down to clean up, while thinking about why she would send herself such an odd selection of goods when she realised that there wasn’t any toilet paper left. Good one, future self. She smiled as she hovered over the toilet and shook her bum, before tip-toeing into the living room to grab the toilet paper and head back to the toilet to finish the job.

After a shower and change, Ffia went back to the two remaining items—gin and terrarium—and tried to figure out what they were for. Sure, she loved gin, but she could easily have gotten some herself. Why today?

Just at that moment, her Google Calendar alarm rang. She needed to leave then, or she would be late for tea. Her stomach rumbled in response.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Ffia grabbed her favourite tote and dumped her phone and keys and sunglasses into it, and rushed out of the door, slamming it behind her. She ran all the way to the tube station where she justified a quick stop to grab a flat white before heading in to the trains.

She didn’t need to change trains, but it would be nearly an hour’s journey. Kai Ven’s parents’ home was a sweet place, they still kept his old room intact, like a mini Kai Ven museum. The thought made her smile.

Then, she remembered that Kai Ven’s mother loved plants. The terrarium! She looked out to see which stop was coming next and decided that five stops in wasn’t too bad a detour. She jumped off, waited on the opposite platform for a return train, and ran back to her flat to grab the terrarium. Nice one, future self. Though next time, leave a note too.

With the terrarium safely in her lap, Ffia settled in for the long tube journey again. She kept herself entertained with celebrity gossip on her phone and ignored Kai Ven’s frantic messages, responding only with a simple I’M ON MY WAY.

The walk from the tube station to Kai Ven’s parents’ home was perfect—short and refreshing. She felt ready to meet them again when she got to their door and rang the bell. She stole a glance at her phone to check the time and saw that she was a good hour and a half late. Ah well, at least I made it. She smiled, proud of herself.

Kai Ven opened the door and stepped outside instead of ushering her in. He led her by the arm in a rushed march towards the station.

‘Oii! You’re hurting me.’ Ffia tried to squirm out of his grip. ‘What the fuck is going on?’

‘I’m breaking up with you, that’s what,’ Kai Ven hissed. ‘You have no respect for me or my family. In fact, you have no sense of responsibility at all.’ He was oddly calm.

‘That’s not fair. I made it, didn’t I? And look, I even brought your mother a gift.’ She was pouting on purpose now.

Kai Ven took the terrarium from her, said the coldest thank you he could muster up and pushed her towards the station’s entrance. ‘I don’t want to see or hear from you ever again.’ He turned and strutted back to his parents’ house.

Ffia was dumbstruck. No one has ever treated her this way before. No one. She was always the dumper, never the dumpee.

She stared out as long as she could to see Kai Ven walking, hoping that he would turn around to look at her, but his steps were determined. She knew he wasn’t kidding. It was the end of them.

She wasn’t sad on the way back. She felt defeated, like she had lost a match. And when she entered her apartment, she was pleased to see the bottle of gin waiting for her on the kitchen table.

A warning would’ve been nice, but thanks anyway, future self.

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