(Dis)order, personality

One of my strengths, which is also a weakness, is that I’m super analytical. I consume information, digest, organise them into thoughts and outcomes, and when I come to a certain conclusion, that thought gets cemented as a principle. There is room for change, but it’ll take a lot of new data and convincing to do so.

Now, having that principle is not the problem. It’s great, as it guides me to (hopefully) making good decisions in life. The problem is when others do not heed the same principle. I then find it hard to understand why that would happen, and my reaction automatically goes to anger, in thinking that that person is an idiot.

This is a really blunt way of putting it, and in reality, there’s a lot more nuance in each circumstance to understand, but the general idea is there.

Forty years of living has taught me to not immediately or openly react when this happens. But, not reacting doesn’t mean that I don’t feel it anymore. Not reacting means I keep things inside and analyse even more.

So, why am I talking about this? Why is this so important right now?

There is so much going on in the world right now that we cannot hide from, purely because we are all being confined in some way or another by Covid-19. News and politics are in our faces all the time, just because our main way to connect with the world is online, and news and politics occupy everyone’s online energy.

Every time I come across an issue that triggers me, I try and read more to arm myself with information, but the more I look, the worse it all is. The need to shout and make accusations, make half-completed attempts at some sort of interpretation of what’s going on, or even just do something so I don’t feel like I’m just sitting back idly when so much of us are in pain in this world… the need is overwhelming. It is crippling at times, but it is nowhere near any of the suffering that is actually out there. All this just reminds me of the privileged position I’m in.

Serendipity has it that I’m currently researching and analysing Confucius’s teachings through The Analects and I am grateful for that.

Confucius believed that to be kind, moral, benevolent… to be human kind, is a natural compulsion for all humans. He believed that to make changes in society, in government, in the world, we need to first be all we believe in at home. If we are angry about injustice or unethical governance, look inward, do we contribute to these issues in any way?

Confucius knew that when we are loyal to ourselves, and when our actions to our family and friends are considerate, the consequence would be that this goodness will prevail and grow outwards, penetrating into our larger societies.

I watched Trevor Noah comment on the racial injustice and the recent riots in America and I was taken by his use of ‘domino effect’ to describe the process of racism there. It is not unlike Confucius’s suggestion. When small things happen, the consequences that follow would snowball through time.

“By nature people are similar, but by habits and practices they become different.”

Confucius, The Analects 17:2

Right now, there is a lot happening in the world. With Covid-19, there is a stronger sense of camaraderie as a species—we are all experiencing the same thing in one way or another. Frankly, the other news aren’t new. They have always been there in one way or another, but for many of us, because of the pressure that Covid-19 has brought upon our daily lives, our emotional reaction to them are exacerbated.

And actually, that’s a good thing.

Let’s take this time to do something, starting with ourselves.

To quote from one of my toddler’s books:

“But if you want things to change,
you first have to change YOU.”

Rachel Bright, The Lion Inside

Look within, understand all the good and bad and in-between about yourself, and consider what it is that you can do to make this change that our world needs right now. See those actions of change as a kindness to yourself, as when we do good, we feel good, and we create goodness around us.

Are you interested in personality types, in trying to understand more about yourself? I’m an INTJ (architect) in the MBTI personality-type. You can try the free MBTI personality test here on the 16-personalities site. If you do, let me know which type you are and how you feel about it.

I have also just started reading Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson, who uses the DiSC method. If you’ve read it or would like to join me in reading it, let me know too.